Fwiw, I once interviewed a researcher who was studying the effects of neighbor noise and she was deeply distraught by how rarely anyone engaged with the topic. (Ultimately, my editor decided it was not science-y enough, proving her frustration 100% right.)
I can confirm your take on Parisians. I took a spur-of-the-moment cheap flight in 2018 and spent nine days wandering around, drinking Bordeaux and enjoying the light. I spoke not one word of French and relied on them to have patience with me. Only a single bus driver sort of demanded that I say something -- s'il vous plait or merci or any damn thing -- but eventually he sold me a ticket and I was on my way. I observed a ubiquitous kindness and awareness of each other that you don't see in America. And everyone dressed in a fashionable but not ostentatious way. They like their bread and their lunch breaks and as soon as the sun gets a little low in the sky they SIT DOWN. It's like magic hour musical chairs and every cafe is packed, wine and beer and food on the tables and the evening launches from there. They were generous to a monosyllabic, clueless American and I look forward to a return trip this fall. And I have learned some French.
Regarding footnote #2; I think it's kind of like the adage that "history is written by its victors." Loud, boorish, shitty Americans who didn't spent two minutes learning a culture before plopping themselves into it find out other cultures have a much lower tolerance for their ninnery and, in being called out on that, treat their embarrassment like an egregious affront, and they then loudly, boorishly announce over and over that French people are "rude," or New Yorkers are "mean." Because I've never found that a person like you or I who has traveled and treats other cultures with respect has anything of the sort to report back. Unfortunately, we're not as loud.
The only culture I have to complain about is my own; passive aggressive midwesterners. And in the Pacific Northwest, the same. Both occupied by Scandinavians in the early years of white "settlers," both subject generationally to the Law of Jante.
What an incredible thing to do—I hope it brings you two as much peace & pleasure as it does time for all the self-excavation a person might need in the wake of great disappointments. I'm sorry to hear that there has been so much struggle, and I'm in awe of the brave thing you have done to take yourselves on this tour.
I also wanted to say how deeply I appreciate the piece on noise pollution. I'm always in a state of being one loud noise away from ripping my own hair out, and phones have only made noise pollution more cataclysmically BAD. It's one thing that makes me grateful, at least, to live in a small, small place, though the price feels high when confronted with the corresponding lack of culture in small, narrow-minded places. I suppose your journey has put me in a frame of mind to question: what are the things one can live with, but can't live without? And what, in this world, do we actually have a choice about what we're forced to live with? Because I can live in a small, quiet place but still be confronted with speakerphone conversations and video-watching in a grocery store, even if I don't have to confront it in public transport. I also don't get to see ads for novels, so I suppose that also makes me a bit sad. Imagine such a thing!
I'm looking forward any intermittent dispatches you might share from your journey, and I send you my best wishes!
Also, since re-reading the Future Was Color, which I followed up with reading Wittgenstein's Mistress (based on that year old post of yours you shared), my brain has been awash with many things, but most of all gratitude for what you write & put out into the world. I hope goodness finds you, wherever you go!
Actually Nathan, I was just a freshman or sophomore in college when cell phones came into the world. I had just moved from India to New York. So every year maybe twice a year I would fly back from New York to India and on the way I would always stop through some European city or the other, usually London. And I can assure you that America was the last to embrace the cell phone technology out of all the three continents. In fact, Indians and Londoners were using text messages which we call SMS at least a good year before the Americans could figure it out. All my American friends used to berate me for sending them text messages because they had no idea that their phones were capable of doing these things.
Fwiw, I once interviewed a researcher who was studying the effects of neighbor noise and she was deeply distraught by how rarely anyone engaged with the topic. (Ultimately, my editor decided it was not science-y enough, proving her frustration 100% right.)
This is so inspiring.
💙
I can confirm your take on Parisians. I took a spur-of-the-moment cheap flight in 2018 and spent nine days wandering around, drinking Bordeaux and enjoying the light. I spoke not one word of French and relied on them to have patience with me. Only a single bus driver sort of demanded that I say something -- s'il vous plait or merci or any damn thing -- but eventually he sold me a ticket and I was on my way. I observed a ubiquitous kindness and awareness of each other that you don't see in America. And everyone dressed in a fashionable but not ostentatious way. They like their bread and their lunch breaks and as soon as the sun gets a little low in the sky they SIT DOWN. It's like magic hour musical chairs and every cafe is packed, wine and beer and food on the tables and the evening launches from there. They were generous to a monosyllabic, clueless American and I look forward to a return trip this fall. And I have learned some French.
Regarding footnote #2; I think it's kind of like the adage that "history is written by its victors." Loud, boorish, shitty Americans who didn't spent two minutes learning a culture before plopping themselves into it find out other cultures have a much lower tolerance for their ninnery and, in being called out on that, treat their embarrassment like an egregious affront, and they then loudly, boorishly announce over and over that French people are "rude," or New Yorkers are "mean." Because I've never found that a person like you or I who has traveled and treats other cultures with respect has anything of the sort to report back. Unfortunately, we're not as loud.
The only culture I have to complain about is my own; passive aggressive midwesterners. And in the Pacific Northwest, the same. Both occupied by Scandinavians in the early years of white "settlers," both subject generationally to the Law of Jante.
What an incredible thing to do—I hope it brings you two as much peace & pleasure as it does time for all the self-excavation a person might need in the wake of great disappointments. I'm sorry to hear that there has been so much struggle, and I'm in awe of the brave thing you have done to take yourselves on this tour.
I also wanted to say how deeply I appreciate the piece on noise pollution. I'm always in a state of being one loud noise away from ripping my own hair out, and phones have only made noise pollution more cataclysmically BAD. It's one thing that makes me grateful, at least, to live in a small, small place, though the price feels high when confronted with the corresponding lack of culture in small, narrow-minded places. I suppose your journey has put me in a frame of mind to question: what are the things one can live with, but can't live without? And what, in this world, do we actually have a choice about what we're forced to live with? Because I can live in a small, quiet place but still be confronted with speakerphone conversations and video-watching in a grocery store, even if I don't have to confront it in public transport. I also don't get to see ads for novels, so I suppose that also makes me a bit sad. Imagine such a thing!
I'm looking forward any intermittent dispatches you might share from your journey, and I send you my best wishes!
Also, since re-reading the Future Was Color, which I followed up with reading Wittgenstein's Mistress (based on that year old post of yours you shared), my brain has been awash with many things, but most of all gratitude for what you write & put out into the world. I hope goodness finds you, wherever you go!
This is absolutely wonderful to read. Thank you so much 😭
Actually Nathan, I was just a freshman or sophomore in college when cell phones came into the world. I had just moved from India to New York. So every year maybe twice a year I would fly back from New York to India and on the way I would always stop through some European city or the other, usually London. And I can assure you that America was the last to embrace the cell phone technology out of all the three continents. In fact, Indians and Londoners were using text messages which we call SMS at least a good year before the Americans could figure it out. All my American friends used to berate me for sending them text messages because they had no idea that their phones were capable of doing these things.
Welcome to Paris. Have you tried owning a bank account yet? I’m somehow guessing not… you’d write a book on it.
I moved here just pre trump . Maybe I pre empted trump but in actuality my story is more a cliche: fell in love with a Parisienne.